rambling

these are not my thoughts. they can't be. i'm scared of myself. of this alien life form feeding on me. it's not taking over. me and sheitan.  me i'm the devil. he lives in me. my soul seemed to spark back into life thanks to it. these bone crashing thirst and hunger. the unfaltering need for agression and the search for a beauty beyond moral boundaries. in the mood for hatred. i m struggling to remain the little tick that can only scratch the surface. i ache to reach for bones and internal organs. i want old city center action. i m no bypass commuter anymore. i ll stay in your heart and do damage.

hear the world cracking up everynight. put my ear to the pillow and feel tiny cracks making reality protude, little shattery chunks whisper their moralistic chants and ravings. nobody seems to hear. i just lie to myself:' i'm dreaming'. not that difficult if you re after a soft version of the real.


the others pretend it's all just their sleeping pills dodgy side effects. bring the noise. bring the white noise. the background lies. cover this mess up. take the earth crust and some persian rug master to sow  it all and lets push all this filth under there. let's just cover our ears and breathe in the morning. let's just stick a pair of black lipstick bars in our nostrils and listen to our favourite music. hands up in the air, you daft cunts. time to have fun. grab a couple of pliers and tear away the stupid wisdom remnants. who put them there in the first place.

drive down the highway till  your fingers stick to Ms. nightmare's wheel. no clutch or brakes. just travel fast. fast as you can, babe. just spit in their stupid faces. puke on this rubbish dump planet. curse them in a million languages and show them who s boss. the new woman. the new fucker. height of fashion cunts ready to feed on the world. bring it on. get your food.  sushi bit of you. chew on mankind and spit, spit, spit.

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can see the splendorous crispiness of your facial features in the darkness.  'v'been seeing them ever since... ever since you broke your promise i ve been.... ive been here and there. mostly here... marinating in my own pungent juices. i forgot myself. i forgot where i was making for... i forgot who i was talking to. or was i talking to myself? yeah. i remember now . i was just raving about the old centre of the civilized world inside of me. the ancient capital. it got burned to...ashes of my old self. no embers left. just this weightless pile of nothingness.  you ll twist my fucking soul.i know you. you can do it. your  name´s...your sweet name brought tears to my eyes, your eyes celestial spheres from planet filth. your heart pumps cancer. i felt it in your voice. your crying, your fucking moany french...french s such a lovely language they say. the ignorant fuckers. if they only knew. the language of love... if you only knew. go to the outskirts of love and speak your stupid bookish babble verlan, but i digress. i was onto your cankerous centre. i just couldn t say no then. you moved your mouth and i nodded. you asked... didn t even have to plea. you just said the incantation. don t judge me i must learn that one. easy to get away with murder. dont judge me, i was the centre of your universe but you brokkkk... i broke up with ...i said we couldn t...you knew you were not coming here anymore...i said it was ovvvv...over. who knows if you had jumped down in ... jumped into muddy arms... filth... such filth...don t judge me you pleaded. opinionated little fucker doesn t what to be judged when she fucks up. nti muslima? nefsek khaib w qawii!! dik al marra sharbti bzzefff, yak?! ana ma na3arf, ana. waqila ma sharbtish. you just needed to ffff ff.ff....ff...ffff.......f.f.ff.f...stutter in bed. just stutter. no emotion involved. just go through the ugly motions. dirty little c..dirty 30 minds of ours. i forgave you. so naive. mr naive. i should have fucking got the first flight to paris and stab your red pumper sprinkly deep. i ve dreamt of watching your eyes die. watch you blink once again. that i ve dreamt as well. i lvd... loved ...i loved you so much... so much...you CUNT! how could you..i d cut you right out of my memory.  false prophet. fake wisewoman. messenger of wolvy lies. who raised you? you cant be your mum s daughter. monstrous stork sneaked you into the world.


you ll become a soldier or a mercenary. after this fucking war s over. after the trial s over. after she dies. after she rots. after the maggots, and flies and carrion crawlers. once the trial is over. you ll kill or be killed. might have code of honor to live up to or maybe you ll just kill for fun.


clean this mess before the maggots turn up. the littly crawly fuckers. we love them though. it ll smell for a while but we can always hide it, cover it, pretend is not there, blame mr.bad breath, call the bomb makers. buy us a big brand dazzling new fucking something. or get another sucker to blow us apart