the rain again

here s the infinite curtain of autumn rain sweeping across the city and bringing back the pinpricks of winter past again. The agony of true love. How very unreal in its spotless transparency, this memory of a blurry slippery feeling. The mother of all paradoxes.

the freshness and the odour of the long awaited rain brought back the pain. a deadly muffled cauterized version of the razor sharp late autumn shipwreck's survivor pangs. a soul wandered away from its companion, from its centre, from life itself to descend into the numbing void.

i ll wait for you i ll wait for you i ll wait for you until until until

until this awe eats up all that is good and beautiful and the rain reminds me of who we were. who i was in your arms. who i was in the front of your car with a dagger in my heart and my hardness of months screaming to be relieved.


until we reached the forest which after months of abstinence could be nothing but a hideout for lovers and walked its most civilized paths hand in hand.

until your body wants to ache to relieve the pain. the sting metamorphoses into antidote and you wish for sweet death.

until you can t breathe in and the tears seem to help.

you ll always be a scar, always a force of nature.

until I die.